How to Move On After a Divorce

Divorce is a difficult time in every person’s life: you get married once, and you think it’s going to last forever only to discover that the two of you are incompatible in the end.  This crushing admission of defeat in your marriage can be a traumatic event in your life that makes it difficult to move on from even years later, but it does not have to remain this way.  If you treat your divorce like any other major event in your life that you were able to recover from, you will discover that it is not the end of the world, and staying in the marriage would simply have caused you more pain in the long run.

Regardless of how the marriage dissolved, the fact remains that it wasn’t meant to be, which is something you need to keep in mind during this process of moving on.  Staying in a loveless marriage has never benefited anyone and has simply served in drawing out a miserable life which does not need to remain as such.  There is a certain freedom which you experience after the end of a difficult marriage which is hard to view at first, but becomes painfully obvious after a while.  After you realize that the marriage would have never worked out (the first step towards moving on), you need to recognize that it is not the end of the world.  If you were against the dissolution of the marriage, it may be particularly hard in getting past this initial fact, but having the ability to find someone who will appreciate you for who you are is a special part of life.  Not allowing yourself to find this by containing yourself in the memory of a failed marriage only serves to drag you down.

Getting back on the dating scene may take a bit of work and many words of encouragement from friends who have seen you through the marriage, but once you are out there, it becomes obvious that you just need to date around for a while.   Dating does wonders for your self-esteem, especially in such a rough time, and having some fun with casually dating helps you discover that there is a whole world out there.  You are in no rush to begin another long relationship, but simply need to enjoy your time and freedom.  After you reach this step, you are able to realize the misery that you would have been in had you continued the freedom.  When you are involved in this type of relationship, it is difficult to see beyond it, but once you see how happy you can be after you are free of it, you can truly begin the process of moving on.

This post was contributed by Tara Miller, who writes about the best dating site. She welcomes your feedback at TaraMillerr00@yahoo.com.

Please be sure to visit www.hardinglaw.com, the website for the law firm of Harding & Associates, for more information on California family law. 

Comments

[trisha]

There is nothing out there that can ease the intense pain and suffering you are going through right now. Only time and allowing yourself to experience the grief and sadness can make you feel better.Working through and releasing your emotions in a healthy way is the best medicine. So let it out by punching a pillow, writing a letter to your ex and burning it and allowing yourself to have a good cry. Try to look for other, healthier ways to release your emotions instead of using food to make yourself feel better.